Stephanie and the Sea.

Once upon a time there was a woman named Stephanie, she was the super-best wife and mom on the planet. One fine sunny day the family and some friends were planning to enjoy their summer weekend at the entrance to the sea. This day was full of adventure, more so than other days, it seemed that the very air had a wisp of danger. Not the sort of danger that would cause you to run and hide or look all around nervously, no, not that sort of danger at all, more or less it was the exciting type. The feeling you get sleeping outside in bear country or staying the night in flimsy cloth houses without your parents (even though they are in the wood house only feet away).

The little versions of the man and the man were talking about bringing the Kayaks down because the surf was, in one smaller man’s words, "the puny". It was only called the puny on certain types of days and this was one of those days. In fact, the waves were no bigger than a windy day on the Big Lake in the middle of this family’s country. The Big Lake, in fact, was made up of five smaller lakes and they surrounded a plot of land in such a way that if you were able fly as high as an eagle you might look down and see what you thought was a mitten or a glove.

The puny had very nearly ruined the day and the fragile spirits of the men. Men are very particular, they need things to do. It is no good for a man, even the little version of a man, to be bored, or to become low in spirit. Many times not having anything adventurous to do would lead to the bored thing and then the men, especially the little versions would become very easy to make agitated in attitude. Women know about this more than the man so they try hard to make sure that the man is busy.

Men also don’t like to talk about their fragile spirit because someone told them that to talk about stuff like that was not manly, which is kind of true. But to ignore the fragile spirit is not good and the men have a hard time dealing with that. It doesn’t help that the women are always saying “do it this way” and wanting the men to cry and talk a lot but that’s not the way the men deal with their fragile spirits. But the men are confused because they figure, wrongly, that to be a man means that fragile spirit thing is not a man thing; they were told that, and they believed it.

Anyway, as I was saying, the sea was still calling the men so they put on their man clothes, grabbed their main mode of transportation around the village, which was skateboards and pulled the Kayaks one by one toward the portal to the sea. The men had to work as teams to get the Kayaks down to the sea, because there were high-pirates that regularly brought trouble to the entrance of the sea. So, two of the men towed the Kayak on skateboards down to the portal and then through it. They placed the Kayak on the tiny rocks that make up the entrance to the sea and one of the small men stood guard while the bigger one went back to find more Kayaks.

Each Kayak was found with paddles to control them and then skateboarded though the portal to the sea. You can get through the portal by other means of transportation, like your feet or a small bicycle but the preferred method is skateboard. Even though this method is the most dangerous it's the best and is most fun. Many times the men would end up scraping their skin off around the village because of the rigidity of the surface and pieces of broken surface stuff; when this happened it was ok to cry, especially for the smaller versions of man, this was neither “manly” or not manly and no one said it wasn’t ok.

Now the big man, helped the women friends into the Kayaks so that they could share in the adventure and take the smaller versions of the men and women since their arms were not the right length for the paddles. The surf of the sea was pounding just on the beach; the men called this neck breakers or board breakers, which describes what happened if you tried to walk on them. So the women were scared and made a lot of noise but the man was able to push them out past the neck breakers and then they stopped making so much noise and were very tough.

Then the man got himself and a smaller version of man and climbed into a Kayak and began to paddle as well. Stephanie was not through the portal yet because she had to go back to the storage area and get the water walkers which the men called surfboards just in case the waves of the sea began to become walkable. She did this chore out of the goodness of her spirit, which is beautiful. The best part about Stephanie is her spirit. Her spirit is more beautiful than time or space and its more wonderful than bad moods and bad hair and stuff like that. But even she would tell you that Gods Spirit is the best. But as far as spirits of her type, I say I like her best.

So the three kayaks on the sea began to get smaller and smaller as they made their way to a rock that was situated out in the sea and connected by this thin strip of surface that had to be suspended in the air by poles buried under the sea. Earlier that week the men had been wasting time tying not the get the boredom thing by watching the kings of the sea eat. The kings of the sea are burly. They are bigger and faster than the men and they have more teeth. They also live beneath the sea and sometimes bite the man and destroy his fragile skin and tissues. To watch the king of the sea hunting is amazing, and the men have much respect for the kings. Enough respect even to become fear.

After seeing all the kings dining on whatever they came across in the sea and then thinking about that while Kayaking the men decided to tell the women to turn around and go back because they had come far enough and it was getting choppy and windy. I think the men made a big deal about the windy story even though what was really on their mind was the kings. Some other men had caught a real big version of the kings a few days earlier not too far from where they were.

The three kayaks paddled hard against the wind and current of the sea, to get back to the North portal and to the entrance to the sea. The women paddled until their arms started to fall off but just made it back to the entrance to the sea before they did. Just then Stephanie was on the tiny rocks and taking pictures of the adventurers on the way back from their adventure. She took good pictures.

When all of the kayaks were on the tiny rocks and everyone was rested Stephanie decided she was going to go on an adventure in the sea. She pulled a Kayak to the sea and was helped in by another woman friend. The reason this is such an adventure for Stephanie and maybe not for you is that Stephanie does not feel well when she gets into water. She may get sick because the sea is very different than the land which is mostly solid. The sea is bouncy and moves around a lot. We don’t know why for sure but the men know that feeling of being sick too and they don’t like it so they say that Stephanie is very adventurous for going into the sea.

So while she is kayaking it takes about 360 seconds until Stephanie begins to feel queasy. Queasy is also what you feel if your in your first third of your baby growing stage for a woman; maybe Stephanie makes a relation between the sea and that baby growing stage. Anyway, she decides to come back to the entrance to the land and the tiny rocks and begins to paddle back.

Stephanie gets to the shore of the entrance to the land and the neck-breaker does something very rude. It waits until Stephanie is not looking and then smashes her kayak with a hollow whip of a wave. Stephanie gets tossed to the side and loses her balance, then goes upside down into the tiny rocks, the neck-breaker then picks up the kayak and drops it right on her. Now if you were a normal woman you would probably cry and make a lot of noise and then talk about it a lot; but Stephanie is not a normal woman; she is the toughest woman for miles because she has popped out 4 tiny men things that are called babies. So she jumps up and smiles at the neck-breaker (who sulks and goes away) she then grabs the kayak and pulls it onto the dryer part of the tiny rocks, with help from another woman friend.

I saw her bruises and I am proud of them because of the adventure that Stephanie had and the fact that she is so tough, but she is soft too and I am not afraid to say that I love her and she is the best wife and mom in the world, as far as I am concerned.